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Avocado Pesto

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
Counting avocados…

I love avocados. They are not pre-Columbian, however. So, apologies for the New World foods I’ve been eating and sharing on my pre-Columbian blog/YT channel. But, being on a Keto diet, I have to make some tough choices. Once I get to the point where I can “safely” enter maintenance, I’ll be switching to a low-carb Mediterranean style diet, which I’m hoping can go back to the pre-Columbian things. Of course, I may make exceptions from time to time to make some really awesome 17th or 18th century foods, but, for the most part, I want to keep to the 15th Century or earlier, in The Old World.

Anyway. This is an amazing recipe that Cameraman Ken shared with me. The first time I made it, I didn’t add the almonds, just made it per the recipe (and added the optional ingredients). This time, I added the almonds and it gave it a little extra pop. Obviously, if you have nut allergies, don’t add the almonds.

This is good for a kicked-up avocado toast, a pasta sauce (which reminds me, I should make the Keto Noods again, and use this as the sauce for them), or even as a base for a pizza (be it regular, gluten-free, low-carb, or keto).

Definitely do not leave out the lemon juice from this recipe. Definitely taste it as you mix it, but also wait for 10 minutes after you mix it because the flavors will marry and you don’t want to over-salt it. Unless you’re like me and your lab work comes back saying “Gurl. U got issues!”

Also, my cat bit me two days before I filmed this video. So, that’s what’s going on with my left arm, if you notice the scratches and such. It was my fault; I misread his body language when trying to calm him down from attacking (through a security door) a neighborhood cat. He clamped down on my arm and shook it like a rat, realized it was me, panicked, got two of his fangs stuck, panicked more, and Cameraman Ken had to release his mouth from my arm and help me clean up the blood. It was pretty brutal. Fortunately, I had things like 99% Isopropyl Alcohol and Hibicleanse. It was super swollen for a couple days; now it’s just swollen at the 3 puncture points, which also have lumps where the tissue damage is. Also? It’s itchy A.F.

Lesson learned. (Probably not)

How will you use the Avocado Pesto?

DIY All-Purpose Cleaner

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
I’m not saying it was aliens…

Merry meet!

I love making these videos as much as I love making the food videos! These ones are way more relaxed. In this video, we’re going to make a really fantastic all-purpose cleaner. You’ll need a 16oz spray bottle and some funnels. Here’s a list of everything else:

1/2c apple cider or distilled white vinegar
1 T water (I used distilled)
10 drops of essential oils/essential oil blend (mine was 4 lemon, 3 lavender, 2 pine, 1 Peppermint)
2 T baking soda
about 1-1/4c Distilled water to top off

You’re going to put your liquids into the container first. Your vinegar, oils, and water, then gently shake them. Then you’re going to add your baking soda S L O W L Y. Ask me how I know to do it slowly. Because I’m a dunderhead and didn’t and there was a bit of an explosion because this was filmed early in the morning before my coffee had a chance to hit my brain and say, “Hey! You! The girl who aced chemistry. This is basic acid-base reaction…”

Once you’ve slowly added your baking soda, top the mix off with the water and give it a gentle shake. It’s now ready for use!

You can make this “enchanted” either by imbuing it with your intentions or by using essential oils that have spiritual properties. I, personally, use the ones I use because I know their spiritual properties, as well as their cleaning properties and I like the smell of the blend.

As I said, this is my go-to all-purpose cleaner. On my floors, I use 1/4c. ACV and 16 drops of essential oils/blend to a gallon of water. Again, I choose my oils based on their spiritual and cleaning properties. I love washing my floors and I know my cats aren’t going to get sick from the floor wash! Cameraman Ken wasn’t too enamoured with my homemade dish soap, so I’ll have to find another recipe for him and try again. I do like my dry laundry soap, though I need to make more and re-enchant that. I suppose that could be another video!

Blessed be, my Witchlettes!

Low-Carb Carrot Cake (for 2!)

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
It worked! Yay!

I love when I can make single (or double) serve recipes! I love them more when I can make them in the microwave (like the Keto Tiramisu)! This recipe was really tasty and actually satisfies that carrot cake craving. The only thing I would do differently is double up the cream cheese frosting.

The black walnuts are seriously “Elder Millennial” age. Cameraman Ken remembers when they received them from his grandfather (in Boone, IA) back in the early 1980s (no later than 1983. I was 5 in 1983)! They’ve been in the freezer/deep freeze pretty much ever since. His mother, Linda, was a packrat and only used things like those black walnuts on “special” occasions. She passed away in January of 2018; sadly, Cameraman Ken found her after a week on her kitchen floor. There was a lot surrounding it, but it was a super difficult time for everyone. She would have loved this carrot cake! And the crab cakes!

I’m not one for nuts in my food. I like Hershey bars with almonds; I prefer the Snickers with almonds, and my favorite non-chocolate bar is Payday. But, honestly, that’s as far as I go. I don’t like nuts in my cookies (except the macadamia nut & white chocolate chip cookies…which is the only way I like white chocolate), brownies, fudge, etc. And I especially do not like them in my carrot cake!

Except this time. With black walnuts. Those black walnuts really pulled all the flavors together and enhanced the richness and texture of the cake itself. Now, admittedly, the cake was a bit dry, but that could have been fixed with more cream cheese frosting. Which, y’know, when I make them again, we will add to!

As far as my weight-loss is concerned, I have a feeling I’m not going to really lose any more weight. It sort of makes me sad, but at the same time, I’m feeling healthier than I did 7 years ago when I was powerlifting and on a Paleo/Primal diet. Definitely feeling the best I’ve felt since the autoimmune issues hit me 6 years ago. The day I filmed this video, I was having some weather-change/Lupus flare up issues, but none so great as to keep me in bed all day. Just swollen, tender joints.

I hope you all are remaining in good health, washing your hands, and wearing your masks. We’ll get through this pandemic and we’ll be healthier for it.

Witch’s Bells

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
Excitedly recording by myself.

So, first of all, I’ve heard these items called many different names: Witch Bells, Witches Bells, Witch’s Bells, etc. Call them what you want. I call them Witch’s Bells and, though popular in Wicca, are used by many different religions throughout the world. I’m not Wiccan, for example, and I still use them on my door to ward off malicious or ill-intended spirits and energy.

You could buy some via one of the many sellers on Etsy. There certainly are some beautiful ones available. I, however, cannot do that. As a very strong empath (like, I can see the evil spirits manipulating and taking over certain people–also, that link, if you are like me, will knock you out of your chair), I have to spend energy to strip tools and protective items of the energies put in by the creator so those energies do not conflict with mine or my households. I’ve been told my energy is very warm and sparkly, that it’s quite unique. Unique energies, in my experience, do not play well with others. Cameraman Ken and I have a balance in our energies and our fur babies contribute to that balance. If the balance is off, the first one to notice is Midnite and he will not stop telling me about it.

So, I make my things. Or I buy things that are not intended for spiritual worship and imbue them, myself. Which is what we’re doing with this decorative piece.

Really, you can use anything you want to make these. I chose to use a ring, cotton yarn, and 4 silver bells. Since I had made one around Imbolc, I removed that one from my door, thanked it for it’s service and removed the bells, expressing my desire for them to continue their service. This isn’t a requirement; it’s just what I do. I cut lengths of yarn in yellow (for fire), white (for air), tan (for earth), and blue (for water) and tied them to the ring. I wrapped the ring in tan and blue because my Sun sign is Capricorn–the Sea Goat. Earth sign, born in a Water month (December). Earth and Water ground me and recharge me. You can, of course, choose whatever speaks to you.

You do not have to imbue your bells if you do not wish to. I do. This is an anytime of year project and can be changed as little or as much as you desire. I would love to see examples of the ones you create! You can share them with me via Discord, or pop over to Patreon and for as little as $2/mo, you can message me there and share your thoughts and spells and attempts and success and failures! I welcome them all!

Low-Carb Crab Cakes

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
Yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on, either.

It’s been so many years since I’ve had crab cakes. Once I found that I couldn’t process wheat, crab cakes became verboten for me. I was quite the sad panda. I mean, I was already not supposed to eat them because I was allergic, also, to iodine, which is found in shellfish. But, that was worth the risk. Hives are much easier to deal with than intestinal distress for days.

Still. I haven’t had crab cakes in a very long time. So, finding this recipe was so awesome and amazing.

We bought canned crab meat specifically for me to make this recipe. Cameraman Ken said, “I’m going to get lump crab meat because if we need it broken up, we can just break it up.” He grabbed 3 cans and we went about our business. I pulled out said cans to make this dish and, low and behold, it was not lump crab meat. It was “regular” crab meat.

It still worked. Mostly. The lump crab meat would have probably worked better and had a better texture. Even after sticking them in the freezer for about 45 minutes, they were still difficult to put into the pan to fry up. Still tasted delicious.

I really liked the flaxmeal in this blend, as opposed to the almond flour. I find that almond flour has a stronger flavor than I’d like and the flaxmeal does not. I also want to note that I had fish two days in a row! Fish Friday this week was a low-carb fish & chips, featuring cod and zucchini fries. I really miss my air fryer. I think that would have been better for the zucchini. Regardless, that was a tasty meal and the homemade tartar sauce was very good, as well…though…missing something. Probably vinegar.

If there’s something you’d like me to film and talk about, let me know in a comment or join my Discord server and check out my Patreon. For as little as $2/mo., you can help me upgrade my recording equipment, my cooking utensils, etc. Plus, you can connect straight to Discord by becoming a Patron! It’s obviously not required, but it is something that would definitely help me out–especially during the pandemic!

Gratitude Altar How-To

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
Mirror, mirror on the altar…

Merry meet and blessings be, my Witchlettes!

Even though Lughnasadh is past, it doesn’t mean we can’t remain in the spirit of the holiday and carry forth our gratitude through the remainder of the year! This video shows you how you can create a Gratitude Altar. I get a bit raw in it and nearly cry, so you can watch that. 🙂 Regardless, gratitude is such a needful thing in our current situation.

What can you be thankful for during this panedemic? We have so many things that weigh us down, let’s start thinking and recognizing the things that can lift us up and help us drown in thankfulness and send that beacon of light into the world!

I’m thankful for Cameraman Ken who has been nothing but supportive since I started this endeavor; I’m thankful for my sister who understands my obsession with spiders; for my friends both here and abroad; for SCIENCE (wear your damn masks!); for my increasing abilities in cooking; for all of you and the Kitchen Witchery & Other Spells channel–even though I don’t make money from these videos, doesn’t mean I never will. It just means I need to do more and be better. Good things are on my horizon, if I just stop to take a moment to acknowledge all the good that is in my present.

What are you grateful for? Please, share with me in the comments here, or on the video, or in my Discord, or even on my Patreon. I would love to hear from you!

Look! Noods! With Alfredo!

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
Consider the ball of dough….

Such a snappy and witty title! But, hey, I was really feeling like some fettuccine alfredo and I happen to have a recipe for keto noodles and alfredo sauce, so magical times happen!

I know I’m drinking rye whiskey in this video and I look absolutely happy to be doing so–but I am not. I love whiskey; I love rye; it does not love me in return. Sadly, I have developed an allergy, of sorts, to caramel-colored alcohols, so I limit myself to ONE a day.

Anyway, as you will see in the video, I am an absolute dunderhead when it comes to rolling out dough. I probably should have filmed Cameraman Ken fixing my mistakes, but I didn’t. So, it’s just me making mistakes and continuing on with everything (because that’s what we do, right?). Cameraman Ken kept reminding me these videos aren’t about perfection; they’re about entertainment and sharing my experiences with all of you.

What an important thing to remember during this pandemic! Sharing experiences with each other is about the only type of human interaction most of us can get, so do it with wreckless abandon (but, wash your hands and wear your mask)! I can see a light at the end of the tunnel; it could be an on-coming train, but you know what? I’m Wonder Woman, and I will take that train head-on, and I will win.

Please, take care of yourselves. Hydrate, my Witchlettes, just like the plants who grow from the earth, remain grounded and hydrated, stretching up towards the sun or moon and releasing your positivity into the air. So we can burn the world with Kindness.

Upcoming Video: Mabon Celebration

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r

One of the upcoming Sabbats–Mabon–is a social celebration of 2nd Harvest. With the way the U.S. is currently, social celebrations are a bit of a taboo. What I am offering is this: If you live in LA County, Orange County, or Riverside/San Bernardino County and you would like to participate in a socially distance gift exchange, please sound off!

The items I bring you may or may not be videos from my channel–you’ll have to guess! But, I would like to film the deliveries (not required for participation). All I ask is that you hand-make something to trade. The deliveries will be made Sunday, September 20, 2020. Please comment here or message me directly (or pop into the Discord channel and tag me) if you’d like to be a part of this Mabon Celebration!

P.S.: You do not have to celebrate Mabon. I don’t, personally. But, some of the goodies I have planned are too good NOT to share!

Projects for Lughnasadh

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
I’m wearing catears. That have snakes on them. I love them.

I’m back with another Lughnasadh video! We’re making “First Harvest” Potpourri (dry) and Habanero Jelly!

Cameraman Ken (aka The Husbeast) lost his sense of smell through (chronic sinusitis). So, he enjoys foods that have spice, but more importantly, flavor. I have hot sauces sitting on my table that would make mere mortals cry (they do me!), but they are very flavorful and add just enough heat to enhance whatever it is we’re putting them in.

It is important to note that the jelly is not Keto-friendly. It is made with 4.5 cups of sugar. This is not something you can just swap out to Swerve or Truvia or Monkfruit. That isn’t to say that you can’t make low-carb jams and jellies. This recipe, specifically, cannot be modified because of the type of pectin it uses. Admittedly, I don’t know much about pectin because when I make preserves, I don’t use it. My fruit preserves are made with sugar and the natural sugars of the fruits. In the future, I may try to make a Keto-friendly preserves recipe, but today is not that day. Please, don’t use a sugar substitute for this: It will not set up.

Also, yes, I maced myself again cooking the habaneros. You’d think I’d learn by now. That’s why I’m an entertainer and not an actual chef! You get to laugh at my dumbass!

On to the First Harvest Potpourri! I forgot I was making it, which is why my apples ended up desiccated. You need to pre-heat your oven to 200F and if you’re going to use both racks, check them after about 45 minutes and switch the baking sheets around. They shouldn’t be burnt (like mine); they should be dried nicely. Should take about 90 minutes. Check on them. The oranges may take a bit longer. You want the fruit to be dry enough that it won’t rot while sitting out.

…which is funny because…

Potpourri literally means “a pot of rotten.”

For this, I used two red apples and two medium oranges, 4 fresh cinnamon sticks, a small package of star anise, and a bunch of whole cloves. I sliced the apples using a mandolin and had Cameraman Ken slice the oranges. You want these to be thinly sliced–1/8th inch is about where I was with them. Spread them in a single layer on however many baking sheets you need. You’ll want to cover the sheets with parchment paper. Probably should have mentioned that first. Anyway! You don’t have to do anything to the fruits, just check to make sure they’re not burnt.

I put my apples into a baggie and crunched them to pieces to make them fit better into containers. Cameraman Ken cut up the oranges for me and broke my cinnamon sticks. I added the star anise and the cloves and shook up the bag. I had enough potpourri to make two 4oz jars for the guys upstairs (gave them a jar of jelly, too), plus two small bowls of potpourri. One is on my altar, the other is on my desk in the bedroom. It’s strong when close to it, but it’s a nice, subtle scent when you enter the apartment.

The potpourri will be good for about a month. Before you toss it, however, put it into a pot of water on your stovetop and simmer it til the scent is gone. Just make sure you keep enough water in it so it doesn’t burn onto your pot. If you have a small crockpot, you could also put it in the crock, on low, and let it simmer. It’s a wonderful way to get the last little bit of scent from your potpourri! AND! It should be good til right around the next Sabbat: Mabon (the Autumnal Equinox), which is September 22.

Have a happy, safe, and blessed Lughnasadh!

Blessed be.

Blessed Lughnasadh!

Posted on by Th3D0ct0r
Sometimes I dress up and look pretty.

Merry meet and blessings be! Lughnasadh (LOO-nuh-suh) is upon us! The cross-quarter sabbat is a celebration of the First Harvest of the year. Today’s video features a seasonal dish, Blackberry Cobbler! I used an erithrytol sweetener for this recipe to comply with the low-carb diet I’ve been torturing myself with, but you could use regular sugar, if you desired. This is also gluten free and it is super amazing and tasty!

I chose blackberries because this is the last month they are available in SoCal. Now, Lughnasadh would normally feature the First Harvest–but, Lughnasadh is also sundown July 31 to sundown August 1, so trying to get two videos prepared for you before that date makes it a bit difficult to harvest first harvest items. 🙂

Also, a traditional Lughnasadh food is bread. I have a recipe for a Keto Flaxmeal bread that I’m itching to try, but I haven’t had the energy to expend in putting it together. Perhaps that will be a video for next week.

Although I do not, personally, celebrate Lughnasadh, I am more than happy to share with you ways you can bring the First Harvest season into your home. Just leave a comment on the video or on this blog post, or check out my Discord channel and ask there.

Blessed be.